School refusal and anxiety about going to school

Why are some students anxious about going to school?

It is normal that at some stage in life, most of us will feel anxious when faced with a difficult situation. However, anxiety becomes a problem when it is persistent and prevents a person from enjoying life experiences for a long period of time.

Going to school is usually an exciting and enjoyable event for children and young people, but sometimes there are things going on in a student’s life which can make the thought of going to school distressing for them.

New situations like the first day in a new class or the first day in a new school
Problems at school such as:

being bullied and/or cyberbullied
learning difficulties
social isolation, not fitting in and friendship conflicts
feeling lost at school
fear of getting into trouble
not getting along with a teacher

Failure – worry their schoolwork will be too hard, they won’t be able to keep up, or they won’t know the correct answer when called on in class.
Separation anxiety or fear of losing a parent – they may think something terrible will happen to a parent due to:

a parent being ill
family problems and arguments
parents separating
knowing another child who has lost a parent or whose family has broken up

School refusal

School refusal is a mental health concern which involves a student having a strong negative emotional reaction to attending school and is distinct from truancy and other school attendance problems. School refusal in the short-term leads to missed learning and isolation from peers. If school refusal continues without effective intervention and support, it can lead to long term disengagement from school.

If your child is experiencing school refusal, you should work with their school to identify and address the underlying issue/s.

Identifying the cause of school refusal can be difficult. If you think your child is experiencing school refusal, it is important to find out why. Speak to them about what’s happening. Then work with them and the school to find solutions. You can speak to your child’s classroom teacher, year level coordinator, wellbeing leader or principal about accessing mental health support and strategies to support your child to remain engaged with their education.

The following are indicators that your child may have anxiety in relation to attending school or be experiencing school refusal.

An expressed reluctance to attend school and emotional distress when faced with the prospect of attending school
Avoidance behaviours (not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to get ready for school, hiding or refusing to leave the house, refusing to get out of the car)
Psychosomatic symptoms which occur before school (e.g. nausea, stomach aches, headaches or shortness of breath). These symptoms will reduce when the threat (fear of going to school) is removed
Having lots of worries and a strong need for reassurance
Crying, being clingy or fidgeting when nervous
Sleep problems such as difficulty falling asleep, nightmares or trouble sleeping alone

What you can do

You can help your child to cope with anxiety and symptoms of school refusal in effective ways (see suggestions below) and, in doing so, help them develop self-confidence and resilience.

Your school is also there to help - raise your concerns with relevant teachers or wellbeing staff at your child’s school. They can help address any school-based issues, refer your child to school counselling services and make recommendations about professional support. Schools also have access to many mental health related supports including the Schools Mental Health Fund and Menu, the Mental Health in Primary Schools program and the Mental Health Practitioners in secondary and specialist schools initiative.

Alternatively, you could seek support from your GP, who can assist with a referral to a mental health professional such as a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist. They can help your child overcome their anxiety using mindfulness, improving self-confidence and self-esteem and helping children change how they think about difficult situations.

It is important not to dismiss your child’s anxiety but to help them see that the situations they are worried about may not be as bad as they think. The following evidence-based strategies from the Raising Children’s Network online resource can help encourage your child to go to school.

Remain calm as you will be better placed to make them feel more confident. Try not to let your child see that you are worried or frustrated
Listen to your child and encourage them to share their feelings and fears
Don’t dismiss your child’s feelings: everyone feels afraid sometimes, and your child might perceive this as you not understanding or not caring about their concerns
Talk it through and discuss various scenarios, possible outcomes and ways to handle situations to help your child develop problem-solving strategies
Let them have a go and avoid taking over or giving your child the impression that you will fight their battles for them. Some children with anxiety are happy for others to do things for them, and if you take over it might stop them from learning how to cope for themselves. It could also reinforce the perception that they are helpless and that someone will rescue them
Remind your child that everyone makes mistakes and that this is where the best learning comes from
Try to avoid being late when picking up or dropping off your child up from school.
Problem solve with your child about what is causing the anxiety. For instance, if your child has problems walking through the front gate, arrange for them to meet a friend or use another entrance. If they find socialising in the yard before school can be a source of anxiety, arrange for them to arrive just before the bell
Even if they are going to be late, encourage your child to go to school; reassure them that you will contact the school to explain
Arrange a visit to the GP if your child reports persistent physical complaints
Be consistent and have a clear agreement between parents (even if separated) that school attendance is not optional and communicate this clearly and calmly to your child
Be clear with instructions and requests and consistent with consequences
If possible be active in your child’s school through things like the school council or the canteen
Model skills for becoming more independent and how to manage appointments, multiple homework tasks and competing demands.
Get support for yourself if things are feeling overwhelming and distressing.

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Updated 27 March 2026

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School refusal and anxiety about going to school

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Why are some students anxious about going to school?

School refusal

What you can do

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