Primary: I’m not a bully
It is important to be careful that what is ‘joking’ to you is not hurtful to someone else.
On this page
What’s the issue?
Teasing can be fun! It shows that you have a sense of humour and can be a sign of how well you know someone. However, you need to be careful that what is ‘joking’ to you is not hurtful to someone else. Especially when using social media, where something that would be okay if seen by only a few people can now be shared with many. Sometimes a small event will be talked about over a much longer time as more and more people find out about it.
Why does it matter?
- With people you know well, like friends and family, you know what you can tease them about as a joke, and also what they would be hurt by. When you tease someone you don’t know so well, you have to be more careful because what may seem funny or harmless to you may be hurtful or offensive to them.
- When you spread gossip about people it can be used in ways that you didn’t intend. Once you have put the information ‘out there’, either in person or online, you have little to no control over it.
- A joke can be funny in one situation and not in others—having ‘social awareness’ means that you are careful to size up situations so that you don’t put your foot in it!
- Jokes get tired. Just because your friend laughed the first time doesn’t mean that saying that same old line, or doing that prank again, will still be funny—be glad it was good at first, now stop!
Advice
Be funny, not offensive
- Know your audience so that you can be pretty sure that they will laugh with you rather than be hurt, confused or upset by what you say and do as ‘a joke’.
- Sometimes you are in a situation where it is disrespectful to make a joke even if you think it would be really funny to some of the people present.
Think about why you are saying or doing this
If you are trying to look good at someone else’s expense then perhaps what you are doing is not ‘a joke’ at all.
Keep private things private
If someone shares something personal with you or you are with them when a really embarrassing thing happens, it is usually better to keep it private. If the person wants to make a joke about it themselves that is their choice, not yours.
Printable advice sheet
To download a copy of the advice sheet, see:
- Primary: I’m not a bully (PDF, 240.03KB)(opens in a new window)
- Primary: I’m not a bully (RTF, 6.64KB)(opens in a new window)
Updated 26 March 2026
Related links
About the VIC Government
- The Premier and ministers
- Find a Vic Gov department, agency or service
- Strategies and policies
- Inquiries and royal commissions
Grants and programs
Jobs and careers
Arts, culture and heritage
Business and the workplace
- Mentally Healthy Workplaces Framework
- Portable Long Service Authority
- Victoria’s racing industry
- Workforce Inspectorate Victoria
- Liquor licensing, sale and supply
Communities
- Children
- First Peoples - State Relations
- Finding records
- Gender equality & women’s leadership
- LGBTIQA+ equality
- Multicultural communities
- Seniors Online
- Veterans support and commemoration
- Volunteering in Victoria
- Youth Central
Education and training
- Victorian Early Childhood Regulatory Authority
- Early childhood education – information for professionals
- Kinder: Best Start, Best Life
- Education – information for parents
- Schools.Vic - information for schools
- Education grants, programs, awards and events
- PROTECT
- TAFE, training and universities sector
- TAFE Victoria
- Victorian Skills Authority
- Apprenticeships Victoria
- Learn Local
Environment, water and energy
Finance and economy
Health and social support
- Family violence reform
- NDIS Worker Screening Check
- NDIS and disability services and support in Victoria
- Patient Review Panel
- Transforming Trauma Victoria
Housing and property
Law and justice
- Adoption
- Births, deaths and marriages
- Honorary justices
- Machete ban
- Safeguarding Victorians against terrorism
- Stolen Generations Reparations Package
- Victims of Crime
- Victorian Racing Tribunal
Safety and emergencies
- Emergency Recovery Victoria
- Victorian Emergency Relief and Recovery Foundation
- Emergency Recovery Resource Portal
- How well do you know fire
- Fire Services Reform
- Water safety
- Marine Search and Rescue
Science and technology
- Data sharing and open data
- Data.vic - discover and access Vic Gov open data
- Developer.Vic - portal for API developers
- Go.vic URL shortener
- Vic Gov IT project dashboard
- Victoria’s free public wi-fi network
- Cyber security in the Victorian Government
Sport and recreation
Traffic and transport
- Cameras Save Lives
- Transport Fines
- Getting Around
- Transport Planning
- Transport Future
- Climate Change and transport
- Future Directions For Transport
- Transport projects
- Ports and Freight
Working in the Victorian Government
- Single Digital Presence home
- Accommodation and Library Services
- Executive employment in the Victorian public sector
- Budget, procurement and funding
- Careers in the Victorian Government
- Council and Regulator Toolkit
- Guidelines for working in government
- Join a government network
- Standards and guidelines
- VicFleet CarPool
- Victorian Government style guide